The Naked Truth: Young, Beautiful and (HIV) Positive

Sh*t ppl who don't want to get an HIV test say!

2012-02-02T21:47:00.000-05:00

Dating While HIV Positive

2011-11-01T13:23:00.003-04:00

Earlier in my adulthood, I met a guy who I actually thought was “the One.” He was charming, educated and sexy; we had great conversations and an even better friendship. But, as happens, a problem arose: He asked me to stop educating people about HIV and to cover up my AIDS-awareness ribbon and live a “normal” life. The crazy thing is that his request was not the problem; I believe in freedom of speech, and he certainly had a right to his opinion. The problem was that those words came from one of my own. No, not a Black man–one who is HIV positive.

I have never stopped dating since being diagnosed with HIV eight years ago. HIV does not limit me from doing anything. I do have options when it comes to men, and when dating, just as in the classroom, I prefer multiple choice: I date men who are HIV positive as well as those who are HIV negative. There are pros and cons to dating both.

But while I don’t discriminate because of a man’s serostatus, I would rather have sex with an HIV-positive man so that I do not have to worry about infecting him. Although I use protection, nothing is 100 percent certain, and my conscience causes me to be very careful not to transmit the virus.

On the flip side, dating an HIV-negative man means that I never feel the need to babysit: “Have you taken your meds, boo?” Nor do I have to worry who would be there for the kids if we had a family and both of us got really sick from AIDS. (Yes, people living with HIV can live long and healthy lives, but knowing this still does not stop me from having these types of thoughts.)

Positive men seem to understand what I go through; for instance, I take my medication every day, but I do not like it or the side effects, and I constantly complain. An HIV-positive man will usually say to me, “I know, baby, it is hard. But you know what you need to do.” An HIV-negative man tends to say, “Girl, quit complaining and take your medicine”–as if he knows what it feels like to take 2,555 pills a year! That is, HIV-positive men tend to say something motivational, while HIV-negative men often piss me off. Then again, HIV-negative men seem to believe that the fact that I share my story means I am very honest and open. They like that about me. Sometimes HIV-positive men believe I’m too open. It’s like I can’t win. My ideal guy would exhibit the best characteristics of both types of men.

But no matter who I’m dating, people assume that the men I date are HIV positive, too, because I talk about my HIV status on national TV. These men wish that people wouldn’t make that assumption, and they certainly don’t want to be questioned about it. I have yet to meet an HIV-positive man who is where I am about my HIV diagnosis: open and honest. And one HIV-negative guy I was involved with told me he would never be able to date in Nashville again because he had messed with me. (Take note: We were still together when he said it. Lame!)

Being public about my HIV status has definitely had an impact on my dating life, but I continue to educate people about the disease. No matter what type of guy I am with, relationships are hard work. And that is exactly why, at least for now, I am single and still trying to mingle.

via Black AIDS

The Beginning of a New Life

2011-06-06T13:49:00.001-04:00

I found out that I was HIV positive in 2003. By then treatments had advanced to the point where one could choose to live with the disease when just a decade earlier it was something you’d most likely die from. Despite the fact that I had lifesaving medicines available to me, I was torn between accepting treatment and wallowing in my own denial and shame. Suddenly, the life that I’d envisioned for myself—one that included romance, health and family—was plagued with uncertainty, loneliness and stigma. For a long time I pushed my dreams aside, believing that I couldn’t live a full life with HIV. But eventually I worked through my shame, and the strength I gained allowed me to create new dreams.

Today I am healthy and living with HIV in an open, humble and confident way. Each day, I work hard to empower young women who naively believe that Prince Charming will protect them and keep his word—women who generation after generation put themselves at risk only to end up raising children alone, struggling to pay bills, and facing life’s challenges without the skills needed to compete.

My struggle has taught me that—as a woman—I am the architect of my destiny. HIV shattered my dreams but it also helped me rebuild them. Since my diagnosis, I have learned the importance of self-love and self-acceptance. For me, HIV was the beginning of the end: it was the end of shame, self-hatred, and irresponsibility, and the beginning of a new life.

Over the past 30 years, many brave people living with HIV and others fighting on our behalf have created a new reality—one in which I can proudly say that I have a real T4 cell count of 1,274 and an undetectable viral load.

via Black AIDS Annual Report "30 Years Is Enuf"

The Accidental Activist

2011-05-03T09:50:00.001-04:00

I stood in the huddle during a time-out of a vicious basketball battle against a rival high school as the coach told us that the game-winning shot should go to our team captain. Once the time-out was over, I in-bounded the ball to her. Our captain was heavily guarded yet ran the play. When she realized that I was wide open and had the better shot, she passed the ball back to me. As the clock wound down, I looked at the basket, then I passed the ball right back to her. Before she caught my pass, the clock ran out. They won. I'd blown the game.

I had been capable of making the game-winning shot, but I hadn't had confidence in myself. In those days I was not a leader: The captain had more faith in me than I'd had in myself. And winning felt uncomfortable to me. I would rather cost us the game than win.

As a result of consistently hearing that I was not good enough from teachers and my mom, I felt like a failure back then. The fact that I was one of the best defensive players in the state of Tennessee just wasn't enough for my mom. She would overlook that and tell me that I was not excelling on offense. She wanted me to excel at both. No matter what I did, I heard only what I was doing wrong. In many areas of my life, I became scared to succeed, and comfortable with failing.

Then, at 19, I found out that I had HIV. Not knowing about the stigma that surrounded the virus, I told five people, but within weeks, hundreds knew of my HIV status. Immediately, family and friends disowned me, and before I knew it I was alone. People went from telling me that I was not good enough to telling me my life was over.

But even though people counted me out, God did not. God believed in me when I did not believe in myself.

Now that no one was around to give me their opinion, the only person's opinion that mattered was mine. Being alone helped me come to terms with my true self. I was okay with who I was; it was everyone else who had the problem. They say that you don't know how strong you are until you have no choice. Well, I grew tired of being told, "You are dying" and "You are getting skinny and ugly." The fighter in me came out.

Since so many people knew my status and everybody had something to say about it, I decided to put my story in the statewide newspaper. I wanted to prove them wrong: I was growing into a beautiful young woman, and I was healthy. Looking back on it now, putting my story in the paper was selfish. But I was tired of listening to other people's negative thoughts and knew that if I told my story myself, I could stop all the gossip.

The story was published in October 2003. I used my real name, and the article included pictures of me participating in everyday life, from me at the gym to me sitting and thinking. The rumors stopped, and people started getting educated about HIV. I'd thought, if anything, that because of the article, people would find more negative things to say about me. I'd had no idea that they would call me a hero and an inspiration.

For much of my life, I had fed upon negative energy. I'd been unaware of my strengths and too scared to tap into the ones that I knew about. But once the article came out, my purpose became clear and I discovered that I am a born leader. I began to grow more confident. Today I use my personal story as a tool for helping others.

Sometimes I think back on that basketball game that I blew and how far I've come as a result of this big disease with a little name. I now understand that I had the potential to lead--we all do. I just did not have the heart that I do today. Take me back to the game now--five seconds on the clock, ball in my hand--and I guarantee you, we win!

via Black AIDS

MARVSPIRATIONAL

2011-01-11T20:48:00.000-05:00

Marvelyn + Inspirational = MARVSPIRATIONAL

I am happy to announce my online boutique, MARVSPIRATIONAL. MARVSPIRATIONAL consists of shirts, buttons, key chains and etc that have inspirational sayings that I love and use in interviews and speaking engagements everywhere. All of the proceeds go to sponsor my organization, MARVELOUS CONNECTIONS.

Some of the quotes include, "I am beautiful not AIDS" and "I am all things Marvelous!"

Shopping just became inspirational. SHOP, ENJOY AND BE INSPIRED!"

WWW.MARVSPIRATIONAL.COM

Dating is not a fairy tale!

2011-01-04T11:50:00.000-05:00

I grew up watching all of the Disney princess movies, and dreamed that one day I would find my own Prince Charming. Well, I found the man I thought was Prince Charming, but the relationship did not work out. And he gave me HIV. But when does make-believe ever come true? I am now looking for the guy who is right for me.

I discovered that I was HIV positive seven years ago, in 2003. Since then I have learned a lot about what it means to value myself. Ironically, it's been the information I've learned and the experiences I've had since getting the virus that have caused my self-confidence, self-love and sense of independence to shoot through the roof. All of this started when I began to understand that I have value. Not only do I now have a strong sense of self-worth, but I am proud of the amazingly strong woman I have evolved to be.

Of course, most people assume that because I have HIV, I have not been in a relationship. I can assure you that this is not the case. I have had several takers--men who are HIV positive and men who are HIV negative. But unlike during my pre-HIV days, I am no longer impressed with bling-bling and fancy cars. I no longer believe in fairy tales or fairy tale endings. And I am definitely not desperate to have a man.

Before, men used to think my body was sexy; today they are attracted to my positive characteristics. I used to feel good when the man I was seeing told me he loved me. Now I laughingly say, "You should. What is there not to love about me? But thank you for communicating, baby. Kisses!" I used to get chills up and down my spine when a man told me I was beautiful. Now I answer: "I already know that, but thank you for reassuring and reminding me, baby. Hugs!"

I do not settle just because I have HIV. In fact, I would not dare date someone whom I would not date if I were HIV negative. A man actually had a better chance of getting a date with me before I had HIV. These days, I am picky and have standards, and any man I'm going to have a relationship with needs to fulfill all of them. Since I have come to embody strength, courage, beauty and ambition, why would I settle for a man who is lacking in those areas? I need a man with goals and dreams.

After a speaking engagement, a young woman approached me and asked, "Do you think that when you get a man, he will be jealous that you call the guy who infected you 'Prince Charming'?" I told her that I would only date a guy who had enough sense to know that Prince Charming is a fictional character. Make-believe. He is not real. I need a man whose flaws I accept and whose heart of gold I admire, not to entertain a fantasy about who that man really is.

via Black AIDS

Deciding Moment: Marvelyn

2010-10-05T20:13:00.001-04:00

Go to GREATER THAN to find other stories and to share your Deciding, when you felt Greater Than AIDS.

My Most Frequently Asked Question

2010-09-22T13:05:00.000-04:00

I travel all around this great nation of ours and the world for that matter, speaking to colleges, universities, churches and anywhere else they will let me in, and no matter where the plane takes me, I am always ask this one question, Do I still have sex?

Let me break this down the best way I know how.

Just because a person has HIV doesn’t mean that their private parts disappeared. I still have all my parts and they are in working order. When I was newly diagnosis with HIV the doctor told me that stress kills. Everyone knows that sex is a good stress reliever and good sex is the cure for anything. I am happy to report that today I, MARVELYN SHARI BROWN, AM STRESS FREE and will remain stress free.

Let me first say that I disclose my HIV status to my partner in the very beginning of our relationship. The conversation usually goes something like this, “My name is Marvelyn, other than my hair, I am all natural and I have HIV.” I feel it is important for me to give my partner a choice whether or not to be with me sexily, because mine was taken away from me and I also feel it is the moral thing to do.

With that being said, sex is a lot different for me now than before my diagnosis. I now have sex because I want to and not because I want to fit in or to keep a man. Now I always use protection not only for my partner but also for myself. Just because I have HIV that does not mean that I am immune to other infections. HIV is enough on its on, it does not need a sidekick. Trust me. In addition I have to make sure I am not re-infecting myself with HIV, which makes the virus stronger and produces more HIV antibodies in my body. As a result, making it hard for my medication and my immune system to fight HIV.

The short answer is yes I do still have sex. My question to you (As I do a complete 360 degree turn, drops it like its hot and brings it up slowly), Why you ask me a rhetorical question?

IN MARVELOUS CONNECTIONS NEWS

2010-05-20T11:02:00.006-04:00

MARVELOUS CONNECTIONS wins $10,000 on MTV's Americas Best Dance Crew's Champion for Charity Episode!

Watch Here and Enjoy!

Thank you DO SOMETHING!, Super Cr3w and MTV!!!

Young, Black and Newly Positive? 5 Things You Need to Know

2010-04-20T18:45:00.005-04:00

In February I had the honor of delivering the keynote speech at the "LIFE (Leaders in the Fight to Eradicate) AIDS Black Student Mobilization Summit" at Clark Atlanta University. The conference educated Black college students about HIV/AIDS; created comfortable dialogues about sex and sexuality; and encouraged young people to become activists on campus, in their communities and within their social networks to help us end the AIDS epidemic.

As happens after about 75 percent of my speaking engagements, a young person whispered to me that they, too, were HIV-positive. Because of time constraints and confidentiality issues, I'm usually unable to talk to the person at that moment, so I usually just jot down my contact info or give them a business card. But if I could talk to them or any other newly diagnosed young Black person, here's what I would tell them:

1. HIV is a noun, not an adjective. It does not describe or define who you are. You were somebody before HIV, and you are somebody now. Your character did not change; your awareness of your health status did.

2. HIV is a serious virus, so do not take it lightly. It does not waste time before attacking your immune system, so you can't waste time by letting it get a head start. Although the disease can't be cured, it is manageable and treatable. This takes complete cooperation and participation from you and may require you to step outside the box--out of your comfort zone. Taking HIV medication is only half the battle; maintaining a positive attitude and keeping stress to a minimum are also important. I suggest finding a hobby that includes body movement, and seeing a therapist to help you cope.

3. You have to be responsible for your virus. From the beginning, you have to be 100 percent committed. Your actions will help determine what HIV will and will not do to your body, and can keep the virus from controlling and consuming your life. For example, choose foods that boost the immune system so that they can join forces with your medicine to help you combat the virus. Also talk to your doctor, and research vitamins that you can take.

4. Behave proactively so that you stay a step ahead of the virus. Find and locate a doctor--usually an infectious-disease specialist--whom you respect and trust enough to talk to about all of your problems and concerns. You will have good days and bad days; days when you want to comply with your treatment regimen and days when you don't. Communicating openly with your physician is important. Health providers will know about your test results, but aside from that, they can help you address only what you choose to share with them.

5. All of these suggestions are easier said than done. Still, nothing and no one but you can hold you back from carrying them out.

No matter who you are or how you became infected with the virus, I want you to know that you are greater than AIDS. You can live a fulfilling life that overcomes this disease.

via Black AIDS Institute

Who says junk food can't be good?

2009-11-01T08:51:00.005-05:00

Currently my face and other DO SOMETHING Award winners are featured on the back of millions of Doritos Bag Nationwide. Snack and be inspired! Most importantly Do Something!

Condom are for you too!

2009-08-21T19:49:00.001-04:00

Married women are my biggest critics and it is just pure comedy to me. They look down at me because I had sex outside of marriage and as a result I caught HIV. It is as if they believe that marriage is some type of protection against HIV and that only people who are not married contract the virus. BREAKING NEWS; That wedding ring on your left hand and that certificate, it is cute, but I promise you HIV does not care about either one of them and can still affect your life.

The part that bothers me the most about these married women is they want me to believe that they were abstinence until they got married, SO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU DID NOT HAVE SEX BEFORE HE PUT A RING ON? If you did kudos to you but I am not talking to you when I speak. I admit my HIV prevention message is not for everybody but condoms are. You still need to use protection in your marriage.

Yes abstinence is a beautiful thing, it is the only 100% way not to pass HIV but I aint abstinence and unfortunately it is not reality. In case you been under a rock, people are having sex. I look at it like this, If I would have remain abstinence until I married Prince Charming, like I guess these women wanted me to do, I would still have HIV because I did not know how to protect myself and by thinking marriage was the end all, be all.

Condoms where just not made for the unwed, CONDOMS ARE FOR EVERYONE, JUST LIKE HIV CAN HAPPEN TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!

I AM MARRIED!

2009-08-12T20:52:00.007-04:00

I said "I DO" to my meds July 21, 2003. At the time I was not ready for a commitment but I had no choice. It was an arranged marriage. With HIV come meds, they’re hand in hand. It was not something that I wanted to do or felt that I was ready to do, but I had to do for the sake of my health and me. The day I married my meds I knew that there was no turning back because it was a lifelong commitment and by not being fully committed there could be consequences like becoming resistant to my meds forever.

Like any marriage, my meds and I do not always get along. I experience side effects that consist of vomiting, diarrhea, nausea and mood swings to name a few, but in order to make this marriage work, I deal with them. I refuse to take the easy way out so divorce is no option and if I cheat it only affects me. When our marriage is going thru problems, I just consult with my primary doctor for reassurance (‘cause no relationship is too good for counseling). Even though I married at a young age of 19, I was not always a responsible teenager. I am glad that I finally took responsibility over my future and my life, by deciding to start my meds and staying committed. I must admit, marriage is not all that it is cracked up to be.

This was a guest blog that I did for (BLOG) RED, please visit the website at

www.joinred.com and join!

Sex is overrated!

2009-01-08T01:49:00.008-05:00

OMG! I need a vacation, a babysitter or a something! I am so sick of every single day being RESPONSIBLE for my little/big baby HIV. That is right I am feed up. But guess what? I get no vacation, I do not get a 10 minute break and no baby sitters allowed. I may be fed up but I have to be responsible. And I thought the worst thing that could happen from unprotected sex was pregnancy. Lol. Wrong Answer. Let me break this down for you. When it comes to getting HIV or becoming pregnant there is only one way to get both and that is SEX. Although the two are COMPLETELY different things the way of getting one or both of them is simple. The difference? No one can babysit HIV for me. I can not put HIV in time out. It doesn't go to school. It will not be able to one day take care of itself not even if it is 18. And when I go on vacation 6 little friends have to follow me (my medicine, BTW did I mention that my medicine come with instructions). The fact that you can catch HIV from sex makes its overrated. Is a night (if you can find someone who is willing and can go all night) of sex worth a lifetime of upset stomachs, diarrhea, nausea, mood swing and headaches that not even Tylenol extra strength rapid release gelcap can help? I think not. And then just imagine if the sex is not even good, like in my case. I got HIV and no climax. No sex is not the only way that you contract HIV, but it is the number 1 mode for transmission. SERIOUSLY, SEX IS OVERRATED! Trust Me! Please!

Everyday is World AIDS Day

2008-12-01T11:06:00.003-05:00

I wrote this blog 2 years ago as a guest blogger for BET.COM and I wanted to share it with you because I don't think much has changed.

For the past week I have been asked the same question, “Marvelyn, what does World AIDS Day mean to you?” Honestly I have to agree with MAC on this one: every day is World AIDS Day. However, it makes me sad to see that some people only want to talk about AIDS on December 1st. Meanwhile people around the world are becoming infected and dying from the disease daily.

I am grateful for the World AIDS Day programs and events that raise awareness, but what happens on December 2nd? I want to see AIDS talked about all the time and in the same way I see those eye-catching beer commercials that make you laugh or those movie trailers that remind you that that the hot new Denzel flick is coming out. Picture this: One summer day, you are sitting with your girls eating popcorn in the theatre, waiting for the movie to start and that guy who does all the trailers says, “Coming to a theatre near you…H-I-V.” Would you pay attention?

Last October, I was headed to Tuskegee to speak for The Black AIDS Institute. As the plane was delayed on the runway, my mouth began to get dry. One reason was because I’m scared to fly and another was because they made me throw my Pepsi away at the security checkpoint. Finally, in the air when the plane reached 10,000 feet, the flight attendant came over the intercom and said, “In support of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, the proceeds from each $2.00 can of pink lemonade will be given to breast cancer research. But do not worry if you are a drinker, you can purchase a pink martini for $5.00.”

At that moment, I thought back to the times when I wanted to tell people I had cancer instead of HIV because I felt that people would respect me more. People would glance at the small red ribbon tattooed on my left risk and I would say to myself, “What am I going to tell them?” Depending on whether I was in public or by myself, I would tell them it was in support of breast cancer. At that time, I was so scared to reveal my HIV status to random people—you never know what their reaction will be. Are they going to cause a scene? Or give you that look of, “I wonder what she did to get it?”

I’ve found that people have more sympathy for people living with breast cancer than they do for people living with HIV. I know that breast cancer has come a long way from its days of silence and stigma. I hope that HIV can follow.

Maybe next year when I am traveling, on World AIDS Day or not, the flight attendant will tell the passengers over the intercom, “The proceeds from each $2.00 can of tomato juice will be given to AIDS research. If you’re a drinker, don’t worry, you can get a Bloody Mary for $5.00.”

HIV Sucks, I Swear!

2008-10-03T22:40:00.000-04:00

I am constantly being accused of glamorizing AIDS. Really??? Because as glamorous as I am (I prefer the word Marvelous by the way, but whatever) there is nothing glamorous about HIV. Including the thoughts and fears that race through my head DAILY.

You want to know what my worst fear is besides that one day the medicines that I take could stop working, or that there will never be a cure for AIDS, or that I will always be judged for something I have and not who I am. And let me not forget about the day that I can’t afford health insurance. My worst fear is catching a disease that I have no control over getting, like a form of cancer. HIV is bad enough on it’s on, oh trust it don’t need no side kick.

Also, There is also nothing glamorous about taking 7 HORSE pills that still make me gage after 4 1⁄2 years taking them. I take them until the point that my eyes water. I actually use my pill taking as a make-up remover. You see every night before I go to bed or around 11:00 pm Eastern Time it is Marvelyn’s Medicine Time. So after all long day of long lasting mascara, I simply take my pills and my mascara begins to loosen up and than starts to run. What is GLAMOROUS about running mascara people?

I contracted a 100% PREVENTABLE disease people, which that is my message, not how glamorous I look doing it! That’s what wrong with people now. Shame on you! Lol. Bottom line, HIV sucks, I swear.

I wrote The Naked Truth because ............

2008-10-01T19:36:00.001-04:00

I wrote The Naked Truth because I wanted people to get the full story and not a sound bite or the one-hour prep speaking engagement. Most people can’t identify with who I am now because I am HIV-Positive but they can identify with who I was before. That is what makes me relate and shows people that I am just like them. This virus is real and just because you are ignorant or uneducated about HIV that does not make you immune. That is why I wrote The Naked Truth. I can’t be everywhere but my story can.

Read Up!

The Naked Truth available in Bookstores everywhere and on amazon.com!

The Naked Truth is now avaiable in HARDCOVER!!!!

2008-09-26T14:43:00.001-04:00

Just in times for the holidays. The Naked Truth is now available in hardcover exclusively through Black Expressions. Purchase yours today at www.blackexpressions.com.

Happy Whatever Day!

2008-08-19T11:09:00.000-04:00

Top 5 FAQ

2008-08-09T14:38:00.000-04:00

Top 5 Frequently Asked Question about The Naked Truth

1.What is your relationship like with your mom now?
My mom and I relationship is like any other mother and daughter relationship. We agree and we disagree. I realize now that she always had my best interest at heart and that she always loved me even though she had a strange way of showing it. I was the one with the problem.

2. Where is Prince Charming now?
I have still had no communication with Prince Charming. But I wish him well and I hope everything is good with him.

3. Did you ever find your half-brother and half-sister?
I received an email and I have made contact with Darian and Michelle but I am yet to met them in person as they reside on the west coast.

4. What are you currently doing?
I am recently off of a national book tour. Currently I am touring the country doing Speaking Engagements at College and Universities, High Schools and Churches.

5. How old are your nieces and nephew now?
Diamond is 15
Jamiya is 14
Jamarius is 12

l to r Jamiya, Diamond and Jamarius

July 13, 2008

2008-07-13T10:18:00.002-04:00

Get this widget!

May 14, 2008

2008-05-14T13:18:00.004-04:00

THE GALLEYS ARE IN!!!!!!! OMG they look amazing. I got a call from my publicists asking can a messenger send them over and the first thing I thought was HELL NO. But I kindly said that I had a lunch meeting in city and that I would just stop by. There was never no lunch meeting but I was just to excited to wait. It was the longest train ride of my life. But when I finally got to HarperCollins and held the galleys in my hand I was speechless. I was lost for words. My life in the 216 page book. America I officially give you the key to diary. The Naked Truth: Young Beautiful and (HIV) Positive IN STORE EVERYWHERE AUGUST 19TH.

January 29, 2008

2008-01-29T19:49:00.001-05:00

I just received word that the publication date for The Naked Truth: Young, Beautiful and (HIV)Positive is Tuesday, August 19, 2008. YEAH!!!! I am still in shock. A year ago I had no plans on writing a book anytime soon. I had thought about the idea but I never pursued it. Today here I am finished with my autobiography, my life in words and the feeling is remarkable. I am so overjoyed and I am very thankful for God and his blessings that he has stored upon me. THANK YOU!

January 24, 2008

2008-01-24T21:32:00.003-05:00

Today I received an email from the sales team at HarperCollins and instead of the title of the book being called A Marvelous Life: Young, Beautiful, and (HIV) Positive that they had decided that the book should be called Naked Truth: Young Beautiful and (HIV) Positive and asked me what I thought and sent me two covers to choose from. To make my decision that much more difficult if the Naked Truth was chosen they would use the photos from the naked photo shoot instead. Although I had came up with A Marvelous Life, I thought the title Naked Truth said more. It implied to me that you don’t know what you think you know, about me and/or about HIV. I had to go with Naked Truth and I happy that we all decided to change it. As far as the red dress photos, I love being in front of the camera. Trust the photo shoot was not a waste.

January 18, 2007

2008-01-18T21:34:00.001-05:00

Today I shoot the cover for A Marvelous Life with my photographer/friend Steve. I had met Steve from a photo shoot that I had done two months ago for HIV Plus where I had to pose naked. Thank God this time I was covered by a classy red dress and black pee toe shoes. Jacob did my make up and he did his thing. He has self-proclaimed himself as “the shit” and he is. As I posed in that red dress I could not help but to be happy. Posing for those photos lifted a weight off of my shoulders, my past. When the art director at HarperCollins and Steve sat down to look at the photos I was forced to take them all over. Not because they were ugly cause honey I am photogenic but because I was smiling too hard. That is crazy. Oh well one thing is for sure, I still have a million dollar smile.

January 17, 2008

2008-01-17T20:30:00.001-05:00

Today I received the comments from the manuscript. After a week off constantly checking my blackberry and hoping that every new email was from the editor, it had arrived. We got approved! Man the response that I always want to hear when I go sign up for a credit card but I never do. Anyway, A Marvelous Life is on it way to be made into a galley. I hear that it will be ready by the end of March which looks like an August publishing date. My non-English class liking self has finished a book in 6 months. UNBELIEVABLE!!!. I told you that I could do it.

January 8, 2008

2008-01-08T21:39:00.001-05:00

Today Courtney and I turned in the final manuscript for approval. After the first feedback I think I got a little comfortable and relaxed and when we turn in the second half off the book in mid December she sent it right back. I just lost focus because yeah I was writing a book but if she liked my life before HIV then she has to like my life after. WRONG. When I first wrote those last chapters I was not as vulnerable as I was with my childhood chapters. Mainly because I did not want to go back and tack into those feelings and there were things that I tired not to remember but I just could not forget. So this time I filled all that information in, even if I had to buy a month supply of Kleenex. My story is so worth the trees.

September 27, 2007

2007-09-27T19:41:00.001-04:00

Today Courtney and I just received feedback from the first 7 chapters of the book. I WAS SHOCKED!!!!! This is the email that I received from one of the book editors........

"I think this is really terrific. It should be required reading for every freshman. It's the definitive cautionary tale and it's told with a perfect mix of humor, self-reflection, pathos. Marvelyn is never allowed to feel too sorry for herself and Coutrney you've captured Marvelyn's indelible spirit and humor. I can't wait to read the entire thing."

This is a lady who has published a number of best selling books and worked with best selling authors and she had this to say about my book. WOW!!!! I'm impressed by my own story.

August 9 , 2007

2007-08-09T08:43:00.001-04:00

Today I went to HarperCollins right off of 5th Ave with my agent and co writer. We met all the lovely staff that I will be working with over the course of the process. Outside the building is a huge pole that reads HarperCollins Publishing and I was not going to miss out on the opportunity to take a picture in front of it. I have had the chance to stand by several celebrities but this was one picture that I actually wanted to take for me and not just for my myspace page. The meeting went good and I actually think that I gained a few fans in the HarperCollins offices. I even signed up to be on their speaker’s bureau along with Anderson Cooper, Jenna Bush, and Sidney Poitier. I am feeling more and more confident about this process. Now it is time to go to work. As soon as I left HaprerCollins I headed to the Apple Store on 5th Ave and bought me a black ibook. We will see if that helps me at all.

August 2, 2007

2007-08-02T21:44:00.001-04:00

Today the bidding closed on A Marvelous Life and Amistad/Harpercollins is publishing the book. They have published Justine Simmon’s God, Can you hear me? to Karrine Steffans’s Confession of a Video Vixen to name only two. It is a complete honor. The only problem is the editor has asked that we finished the entire manuscript by mid January. I mean I know that I am Marvelous but I am not superwoman for crying out loud. But if I have overcome living with HIV and the stigma that comes along with the disease than I can overcome a book in 6 months. Lord give me the power and give Courtney the strength because I know that she has a life off her own out of the marvelous one.

July 23, 2007

2007-07-23T21:46:00.001-04:00

The galley has been mailed out to over 15 major publishing companies. The crazy part is that some of them have already been responding to the proposal. HOORAY people like me now buy the book. I don't like the waiting game. I can not wait to sleep again.

July 16, 2007

2007-07-16T21:49:00.002-04:00

Today Tracy emailed Courtney and I back went his comments. When I first send that he had emailed us with the comments I was hesitate to click on the message. I had to stare at the computer screen for ten minutes before actually clicking on it. I was not quite sure if I truly wanted to know his response. To my surprise he absolutely loves the proposal. Now to the publishers.

July 15, 2007

2007-07-15T21:46:00.001-04:00

Today Courtney and I finished the 50 page proposal and we have emailed it off to Tracy. Courtney had signed on as a co-writer of the book a few weeks ago. Writing that proposal was so hard. I didn’t like English in school and coming from Nashville, Tennessee I did not always know how to speak it properly. If the proposal was just a snippet of the book and it took Courtney (a journalist) two years to write her book. I knew for sure I would be in a mid-life crisis before this book would be published. I gotta give it to myself (and Courtney) and say that the proposal is quite good. I was reading it wondering what is going to happen next and it is my story. For now we have decided to call the book, A Marvelous Life. I really like it. When Courtney asked me to think of a title, it just came right.

June 14, 2007

2007-06-14T22:52:00.001-04:00

Today was the lunch meeting. We met at Naples on 45th & Park in New York City. I dressed in a cute white Express top with gold buttons and some AG skinny jeans with matching gold metallic sandals. I doubt that getup screamed lunch meeting but I really wanted him to get a feel of whom I was. During the meeting he defiantly seemed to be entertained laughing at everything that I had to say, but it could have been the fact that he was delusional hungry because the food was taking forever. When the food finally came I seemed to be the only one talking. This was not a matter of accidentally overpowering the conversation; he wanted to hear what I had to say. Not knowing what to think as the waitress brought back the check and the credit card, “I would love to represent you.” Tracy said. I was so relived. He then went on to explain to me that the next stages were writing a proposal to send off to the book companies. “Proposal, what in the world is that?” I thought as living the building. Only one person could help me with that. “OH COURTNEY!”

June 4, 2007

2007-06-04T21:48:00.001-04:00

Today 1 week and 5 days later I received an email from Tracy and he actually wants to meet up with me for a lunch meeting. I am excited that he insists on meeting me but I just thought it was his company’s protocol. You know to meet every hopeful. Besides it was good that Courtney was interested in my story but I still knew that Tracy had to like my story to sign me on as his client. I did not know what he wanted to hear or if he was even educated about HIV/AIDS. I confirmed the date and just tried to keep my self as busy as possible and not think about it.

May 24, 2007

2007-05-24T09:48:00.001-04:00

Today coincidently Courtney and I were booked on the same train ride back to New York City and the only thing that I could think about was, Lord don’t let this child ask me anymore questions. Although she did ask a few more questions, she was very interested in my story. She gave me a card and suggested that I contact her literary agent, Tracy Brown and set up a meeting. Even though Courtney had just published a book, Perfect Girls Starving Daughters with Simon & Schuster, I still had heard the same story before. I emailed Tracy while I was on the train via blackberry but I didn’t expect anything to come off it. With that done it was my turn to ask the questions while Courtney was trying to take a nap on the 4-hour train ride to Penn Station. I asked Courtney questions about publishing a book and the process until finally she went to sleep. Courtney and I exchange contact information and decided to stay in touch.

May 23, 2007

2007-05-23T23:33:00.001-04:00

Today I was in Washington DC to receive my award entitled Courage Under Fire given by Gloria Steinem's Choice USA. Traveling from New York, to cut down on the cost I agreed to share a room in a bed-n-breakfast with 2 other award recipients. Thank God there was 3 beds, one full and two twins. Since I arrived at the Bed-n-Breakfast first I decided to two treat myself to the full bed, which is so Marvelyn. After the awards dinner my roommates had discovered through the program that I was HIV positive and that my courage in dealing with the disease is why I won the award. So as I laid down to sleep I was awaken with an overloaded with a tag team of questions from my roomies. It was like I was being interrogated. How did you find out? How did you tell? How did you feel? As I answered the question they just kept saying, so what happen next, what’s next and before I knew I had told my whole story and 3 hours had past. Then one roomy named Courtney E. Martin said the comment that I have heard so often, “You should write a book.” Tired and sleepy, I said, “Good night.”