Condom are for you too!

Married women are my biggest critics and it is just pure comedy to me. They look down at me because I had sex outside of marriage and as a result I caught HIV. It is as if they believe that marriage is some type of protection against HIV and that only people who are not married contract the virus. BREAKING NEWS; That wedding ring on your left hand and that certificate, it is cute, but I promise you HIV does not care about either one of them and can still affect your life.

The part that bothers me the most about these married women is they want me to believe that they were abstinence until they got married, SO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU DID NOT HAVE SEX BEFORE HE PUT A RING ON? If you did kudos to you but I am not talking to you when I speak. I admit my HIV prevention message is not for everybody but condoms are. You still need to use protection in your marriage.

Yes abstinence is a beautiful thing, it is the only 100% way not to pass HIV but I aint abstinence and unfortunately it is not reality. In case you been under a rock, people are having sex. I look at it like this, If I would have remain abstinence until I married Prince Charming, like I guess these women wanted me to do, I would still have HIV because I did not know how to protect myself and by thinking marriage was the end all, be all.

Condoms where just not made for the unwed, CONDOMS ARE FOR EVERYONE, JUST LIKE HIV CAN HAPPEN TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!

I AM MARRIED!

I said "I DO" to my meds July 21, 2003. At the time I was not ready for a commitment but I had no choice. It was an arranged marriage. With HIV come meds, they’re hand in hand. It was not something that I wanted to do or felt that I was ready to do, but I had to do for the sake of my health and me. The day I married my meds I knew that there was no turning back because it was a lifelong commitment and by not being fully committed there could be consequences like becoming resistant to my meds forever.

Like any marriage, my meds and I do not always get along. I experience side effects that consist of vomiting, diarrhea, nausea and mood swings to name a few, but in order to make this marriage work, I deal with them. I refuse to take the easy way out so divorce is no option and if I cheat it only affects me. When our marriage is going thru problems, I just consult with my primary doctor for reassurance (‘cause no relationship is too good for counseling). Even though I married at a young age of 19, I was not always a responsible teenager. I am glad that I finally took responsibility over my future and my life, by deciding to start my meds and staying committed. I must admit, marriage is not all that it is cracked up to be.

This was a guess blog that I did for (BLOG) RED, please visit the website at

www.joinred.com and join!

Sex is overrated!

OMG! I need a vacation, a babysitter or a something! I am so sick of every single day being RESPONSIBLE for my little/big baby HIV. That is right I am feed up. But guess what? I get no vacation, I do not get a 10 minute break and no baby sitters allowed. I may be fed up but I have to be responsible. And I thought the worst thing that could happen from unprotected sex was pregnancy. Lol. Wrong Answer. Let me break this down for you. When it comes to getting HIV or becoming pregnant there is only one way to get both and that is SEX. Although the two are COMPLETELY different things the way of getting one or both of them is simple. The difference? No one can babysit HIV for me. I can not put HIV in time out. It doesn't go to school. It will not be able to one day take care of itself not even if it is 18. And when I go on vacation 6 little friends have to follow me (my medicine, BTW did I mention that my medicine come with instructions). The fact that you can catch HIV from sex makes its overrated. Is a night (if you can find someone who is willing and can go all night) of sex worth a lifetime of upset stomachs, diarrhea, nausea, mood swing and headaches that not even Tylenol extra strength rapid release gelcap can help? I think not. And then just imagine if the sex is not even good, like in my case. I got HIV and no climax. No sex is not the only way that you contract HIV, but it is the number 1 mode for transmission. SERIOUSLY, SEX IS OVERRATED! Trust Me! Please!

Everyday is World AIDS Day

I wrote this blog 2 years ago as a guest blogger for BET.COM and I wanted to share it with you because I don't think much has changed.

For the past week I have been asked the same question, “Marvelyn, what does World AIDS Day mean to you?” Honestly I have to agree with MAC on this one: every day is World AIDS Day. However, it makes me sad to see that some people only want to talk about AIDS on December 1st. Meanwhile people around the world are becoming infected and dying from the disease daily.

I am grateful for the World AIDS Day programs and events that raise awareness, but what happens on December 2nd? I want to see AIDS talked about all the time and in the same way I see those eye-catching beer commercials that make you laugh or those movie trailers that remind you that that the hot new Denzel flick is coming out. Picture this: One summer day, you are sitting with your girls eating popcorn in the theatre, waiting for the movie to start and that guy who does all the trailers says, “Coming to a theatre near you…H-I-V.” Would you pay attention?

Last October, I was headed to Tuskegee to speak for The Black AIDS Institute. As the plane was delayed on the runway, my mouth began to get dry. One reason was because I’m scared to fly and another was because they made me throw my Pepsi away at the security checkpoint. Finally, in the air when the plane reached 10,000 feet, the flight attendant came over the intercom and said, “In support of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, the proceeds from each $2.00 can of pink lemonade will be given to breast cancer research. But do not worry if you are a drinker, you can purchase a pink martini for $5.00.”

At that moment, I thought back to the times when I wanted to tell people I had cancer instead of HIV because I felt that people would respect me more. People would glance at the small red ribbon tattooed on my left risk and I would say to myself, “What am I going to tell them?” Depending on whether I was in public or by myself, I would tell them it was in support of breast cancer. At that time, I was so scared to reveal my HIV status to random people—you never know what their reaction will be. Are they going to cause a scene? Or give you that look of, “I wonder what she did to get it?”

I’ve found that people have more sympathy for people living with breast cancer than they do for people living with HIV. I know that breast cancer has come a long way from its days of silence and stigma. I hope that HIV can follow.

Maybe next year when I am traveling, on World AIDS Day or not, the flight attendant will tell the passengers over the intercom, “The proceeds from each $2.00 can of tomato juice will be given to AIDS research. If you’re a drinker, don’t worry, you can get a Bloody Mary for $5.00.”

HIV Sucks, I Swear!

I am constantly being accused of glamorizing AIDS. Really??? Because as glamorous as I am (I prefer the word Marvelous by the way, but whatever) there is nothing glamorous about HIV. Including the thoughts and fears that race through my head DAILY.

You want to know what my worst fear is besides that one day the medicines that I take could stop working, or that there will never be a cure for AIDS, or that I will always be judged for something I have and not who I am. And let me not forget about the day that I can’t afford health insurance. My worst fear is catching a disease that I have no control over getting, like a form of cancer. HIV is bad enough on it’s on, oh trust it don’t need no side kick.

Also, There is also nothing glamorous about taking 7 HORSE pills that still make me gage after 4 1⁄2 years taking them. I take them until the point that my eyes water. I actually use my pill taking as a make-up remover. You see every night before I go to bed or around 11:00 pm Eastern Time it is Marvelyn’s Medicine Time. So after all long day of long lasting mascara, I simply take my pills and my mascara begins to loosen up and than starts to run. What is GLAMOROUS about running mascara people?

I contracted a 100% PREVENTABLE disease people, which that is my message, not how glamorous I look doing it! That’s what wrong with people now. Shame on you! Lol. Bottom line, HIV sucks, I swear.

I wrote The Naked Truth because ............

I wrote The Naked Truth because I wanted people to get the full story and not a sound bite or the one-hour prep speaking engagement. Most people can’t identify with who I am now because I am HIV-Positive but they can identify with who I was before. That is what makes me relate and shows people that I am just like them. This virus is real and just because you are ignorant or uneducated about HIV that does not make you immune. That is why I wrote The Naked Truth. I can’t be everywhere but my story can.

Read Up!

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The Naked Truth is now avaiable in HARDCOVER!!!!

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